So I have a rant that's been a long time brewing. It's about sexual orientation (yeah, yeah, not very shocking) and today's society being both dumb and awkward. I'm writing this here on dA because a) I know that in general, this crowd is very open-minded, and b) because not a lot of people read my journal.

Anyway. I identify with the bisexual part of the large and colorful LGBT spectrum. Things are tricky here; I don't consider myself in the closet, and yet most people don't know I'm bi. There are several reasons why I tend not to share this about myself.

For one, there's this assumption that girls "claim" to be bisexual to get more attention from guys. Or maybe it's a phase, just sort of mental experimentation, and so they're either going to go completely gay or just back to solid straight.

And then, of course, we have my uncertainties. I've never actually had a relationship with another girl, so how do I really, really know? Well, I guess I don't, until I try it.

This leads into the last problem. I don't want to make a big deal of "coming out". For me, it was just a subtle revolution in my head, just trying to balance attractions to two very different things. I want (as I imagine all other non-hetero people want) to just be able to not say anything, or mention it off-hand, and not feel like I'm only telling part of the truth.

So here's where my rant takes a more general, society-pisses-me-off point of view. Today, there is a lot of tolerance and acceptance of the LGBT community. My high school is a fairly safe place to be. And yet we still have a GSA, because that acceptance has to be maintained and nurtured. For the most part, we're not fighting hate crimes, but the little things, the way people say "...oh..." when confronted with a non-obvious gay or gayish person. And I don't want to sound all "nobody understands", but with the whole I Kissed a Girl thing going around, bisexuality is really difficult. A lot of people seem to think that you switch from gay to straight, but it's more like liking two different flavors of ice cream. And yes, I got that from House. Incidentally, I think Thirteen might be one of the few well-portrayed bi people on television.

With that rather silly note, I'm done here. Sorry this was really long, and if you read it all, I applaud you, and if it helped you somehow, I want to hug you. I might post something like this on Facebook, only later on, and when I can be louder about what's going on in my brain chemicals.

Thanks for listening.